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The Rain Just Follows Me

by Hawthorne Heights

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1.
I can feel my body breaking down, California sun I can see the colors spiral out, nowhere left to run Don’t leave so soon, when the darkness closes in We burned out bright, I’m sorry it’s the end All our curses go away, washed out by a wave (such constant dread) All our curses go away, there’s nothing left to save (I’m better off dead) I’m better off dead I can’t do it alone just bury my bones off the coast on a western shore Caught in the foam I sink like a stone I’m lost on the ocean floor It’s killing me to know, it’s killing me again Have I let you down now Have I let you down It’s all in your head, such constant dread All I wanna know is, “Am I better off dead?” Search for a light, look toward the sky Don’t be afraid to die
2.
Stormy seas and sleepless nights 4am and my eyes are open wide All night I wonder why the rain just follows me Life’s gone it’s passed me by I’ve lived it all under pitch black skies Violet days and violent nights The rain just follows me Oh I’ll head for the coast And let the sunlight warm my bones The coldest Pacific Ocean won’t wash it all away Postcards and mile markers are burning up my days If I let you go, where will you go Will you fall in love again Or will the rain just follow me and rust this heart instead A full moon with hollow eyes 4am can I make it through the night Sometimes I wonder why the rain just follows me Dead ends and power lines I’ve seen it all through light gray eyes I wish my friends would never die The rain just swallows me Go, run away This black cloud, these dark times The rain just follows me Go, run away These cold nights I can’t escape The rain just follows me
3.
Holy Coast 03:42
I lost myself along the way, as the sparks turns to a blaze We’ve come too far just to let it go Counting scars and counting days, we fell so hard like summer rain We’ve come too far just to let it go The holy coast won’t leave me all alone And I’ll never come home again When the darkness overcomes The space between the silence and the scream Halfway home or halfway gone When the darkness overcomes The space between the nightmare and the dream Halfway home or halfway gone When the darkness overcomes I lost myself down in the haze, these two hearts beat out of phase We’ve come too far just to let it go What we love we love to hate This lock and key is out of date We’ve come too far just to let it go These nights keep haunting me, I’m lost inside this dream It slowly pulls me towards this darkness These nights keep haunting me, I’m lost inside this darkness
4.
For all those nights I felt like nothing at all I couldn’t close my eyes, I couldn’t wake you up For all of the nights I felt it slipping away Couldn’t stop my heart, nothing left to say And you can feel the weight come crashing down And I remember the summer that we met The winter that you left, and everything between The years have since gone by, I hope you’re doing fine And if this finds you well, you save a prayer for me For all those nights I couldn’t stop my mind I couldn’t turn it off I fell so far behind I got lost in the lines, haunted in my head Driving through the night, never even slept And I can feel the flame fading out I’m tired of being tired, tired and alone You’re not alone
5.
Please don’t let me drown I’ve been running through the night Trying not to flatline We’ve got thunder in our hearts With lightning in our eyes The walls are closing in Am I closer to the end We’ve got thunder in our hearts But are we on the mend I’ve been burning through the daylight Trying not to lose my mind I’ve been burning through the daylight But I’m running out of time We get lost sometimes and pull each other down We get lost sometimes, can’t find our own way out Dreaming in color, I’m under the covers, I can’t make a sound Lost in the current, I’m living in torment, so please don’t let me drown Please don’t let me drown I’ve been staring at the sky In a world on fire We’ve got thunder in our hearts We’re all afraid to die
6.
I’ve got a troubled heart, it’s beating down like the sun I’ve wasted most of my life, I’ve spent these years on the run These gray skies turn to night and everything feels like winter But sometimes I feel like nothing at all Spray paint it black if it blocks out the sun Burn it all down with the sparks from our love When I look in your eyes I swear I just catch fire Oh this damn troubled heart, it’s got me sinking so low Spending 6 months apart, I know it’s never enough Burn Burn Burn me down To capsize or carry on or just slow it down Burn Burn Burn me down For all the days I’m gone, this is your song I know you’d never tell me you want someone more ordinary But that don’t mean you like being alone And I know what it’s like to have it slip through your hands So I shake shake shake like a spray paint can And I’m trying to remember my way home
7.
I’m sorry if we don’t connect But I don’t drink and I don’t smoke A basic kid, out of luck And I’m afraid of hospitals Call my friends tell them it’s the end The sun went down and there’s nothing left A lack of sleep and oxygen has got me feeling Down Down Down I’m tired of all these sleepless nights Dancing in the dull headlights I’m not sure I can carry this weight anymore We are, we are who we’ve always been We are, we are alone and innocent Calling home when I’m falling off the deep end Driving home and I’m never going out again We are, we are who we’ve always been I’m sorry if I don’t make a sound If I let you down when I don’t come around I don’t feel the same when I’m not at home I spend the day staring at my phone I woke up in a different time 10 years later down the line So much has changed but through it all it’s still the same I woke up in a different time I pull you in I hold you tight I just can’t carry this weight anymore
8.
If I die too young or if I grow old I wanna haunt your days and nights Don’t want to be forgettable Wrap me in gold and Del Ray blue, in room 13 I’ll come to you I’ll be the dust if you’ll be the wind On Palm Canyon Drive Where our love will never end, you are the color in my life I’ll be the ash if you’ll be the clouds Carry this torch til it flickers out In the desert wind, not the ocean blue I’ll come to you on Palm Canyon Drive If I sleep too long or if I don’t wake up I want to haunt your memories ten years is not enough Spare me 3 last words that ring so true, in room 13 I’ll come to you I’ll be the ash if you’ll be the clouds Carry this torch til it flickers out In the desert wind not the ocean blue In room 13 I’ll come to you I’ll come to you
9.
Let’s die in the golden sun, let the UV rays boil our bones Drain the crimson from my veins I wanna bleed seafoam green Dear god where did you go You left me all alone in Ohio Paint my skin shoreline gold It’s too cold, too cold for me I’m so tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve I’ve tried to be the best version of me Sorry to say I’m wasting away and I just want to stare at the sun I remember everything, the way the sunlit sorrow used to sing Ventura summers kissed my cheeks You’ll shine like diamonds in my memories I’m traveling distance and sleeping more sound Up from this hollow I’ll dig myself out I’m taking my first steps away from the past And these imperfections are all that I have
10.
Day by day, we shine then we fade Eyes open wide, I’m afraid to fall asleep Out in the deep, by the moonlight we sway By fires light I count the passing days I used to think that things would change But we all stay the same I used to think that things would change What if the words they say aren’t real And the only thing that matters is how you feel The words can’t hurt us now The ocean between you and me You act so sweet and you cut so deep But the words can’t hurt us now Night by night, we lay it on the line No place to hide, drifting out to sea Out in the blue, it’s only me and you No end in sight, nothing left to say These words you say don’t cut too deep I tell you I don’t feel a thing Into the night you set me free We’re fading out I can’t escape These words can’t hurt us now I tell you I don’t feel a thing Lost in your eyes this is a dream Don’t fade away don’t fade Follow the moonlight back to me
11.
This is the end and you are the sky Set me on fire so my ashes rise This is the end In the moments before I go, I’ll focus on your eyes They look like New York in the snow, paralyzed by the cold Sinking to the bottom Sink sink to the bottom Let’s sink down to the bottom Don’t let don’t let Don’t let your current slip away We’re sinking, we’re sinking down Sink down to the bottom Whenever I return, I’ll focus on your eyes Like Bambarra in July, trying not to crystallize And we’re sinking to the bottom Let’s sink down to the bottom Sink sink to the bottom If this is the end you are the sky Set me on fire so my ashes rise This is the end This is the end Don’t let your current slip away Let’s sink down to the bottom

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released September 10, 2021

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Hawthorne Heights Dayton, Ohio

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